Imagine you’re minding your own business at the grocery store. Your day has been going great, you and your mom got lunch, and you’re just doing regular errands like everyone else. It was the chip aisle if I’m not mistaken, sweet potato chips, salt and vinegar, the good stuff. Here comes a 30 something, overweight, complete bitch, lesbo. Outfitted in a pair of leggings sporting her cop uniform in the form of a “Educators For Joe and Kamala” t-shirt. Yes, you may have guessed, I was maskless. I already saw the lady once or twice in the store, but never cared to look at her shirt or anything else about her. I had simply just seen her around.
Armed with the manager, that poor manager, she obviously wanted nothing to do with this lady, but brought me a mask to wear because the dyke insisted I put one on. Also I would like to add I really have no idea if this woman was a lesbian or not, but she resembled one. Yeah cancel me, I don’t care, no such thing as a hot lesbian outside of porn. Like the true asshole that I am I promptly took the mask and put it in my pocket. I still haven’t finished this side quest though. The NPC needed to remind me that it’s a mandate to wear a mask. Okay, I don't care? I simply asked if she believes everything the government tells her. No shit sherlock of course she does, just look at her shirt. Well after a few words were exchanged I pointed out her shirt and said, “Oh! A Joe and Kamala shirt. Do you support blowing up kids in the Middle East and defense contractors?”.
I don’t necessarily think this was an own, but more like, “don’t virtue signal when your candidate of choice is sold out and as corrupt as they come”. She was either confused, scared, or maybe just this stupid, but at this moment she became a deer in the headlights. She had nothing more to say, but said “I’ll just follow you, it’s okay”. A true red party card carrying member move that is. So that she did for about two aisles and a half. We kept going back and forth and just trying to tell her to get lost. I’m getting louder, my poor mother is either just frustrated or scared that I’m going to get us kicked out, but as always I prevail. I live for confrontation. That’s why bouncing was one of my most favorite jobs I’ve ever had.
According to my mom someone said something to her and she finally backed off, but I didn’t hear it. I was probably too busy calling her a cunt for the fifth time. That was it honestly, she faded back into the obscurity she came from. Honestly, I’m just happy a phone didn’t get pulled out for my mom's sake, but me, screw it who doesn’t want some internet fame. There really isn’t some crazy ending and nobody clapped, but everyone just went on with their day. That’s the point of me writing about this. Nobody cares about how good you are when they’re just trying to run an errand. Everyone just wants to move on with their life and be left alone. It’s the American dream. Do what you have to get done without someone telling you how to do it. And if someone does, give them the finger and move on. I did try it with the cops though and I got a hefty fine so that’s the only time I don’t recommend it.
Tony Montana, wishing you a good rest of your weekend and start of your week. Signing off.