The amount of time and energy applied to video games added up to no known intangible or monetary rewards. Hell, it did not even amount to pulling a date off of Tinder. At first, the pain was felt in the spirit, but it is now precipitating in kidney stones. Despite all of the red flags of going down the road of living a meaningless life at the age of 21, Cyberpunk is where one finds refuge from the depression that comes from self reflection.
Rolling out of bed in a disoriented state, a misjudgement of the next step down the wooden staircase coupled with a Fortnite sock results in what is known as the “Slip ‘N Slide 2021.” Shoot, you are a Tik Tok account and a smartphone camera away from going viral and getting paid to endorse products on behalf of corporations. Taking a drink of cranberry juice on a skateboard or displaying a sixteen year old in a bikini is how you market to the public after all. Some may look to an attractive woman with an MBA in Marketing on what an advertisement should contain to be successful. However, some of us realize that a sixteen year old in a bikini is all it takes to be a young girl’s inspiration and to get an old man aroused.
Since HuffPost is the oracle of cooking knowledge, turning to chemical food from the freezer combined with a microwave combines for a 21st century delicacy. Sitting in a gaming chair while eating Toaster Strudel, erratic shouts of excitement at any moment of dominance and desperate groans at virtual failure occur. At this point, all we are missing is random bouts of muscle spasms in between the shouts.
Our standard of living is dependent on these individuals defending the wealthiest country in the world from an economic invasion straight from Beijing as land and resource ownership by the Chinese is rapidly increasing. However, the average citizen being more educated on Snapchat filters causes the national dialogue to center around how much a reparation check should be. Enter Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. If these people sign their name at the bottom of an application, their voice is just as valid as yours when it comes to deciding who is in charge of the United States’ foreign policy in Syria and the regulation of products to ensure consumer protection.
It is socially acceptable to make jokes about a Southern man’s accent and way of life, but suddenly the entire country is dependent on this man to repair electrical lines in a blizzard, produce the food that is now delivered to your door, and repair your dinky Hyundai that makes a banging noise once you hit twenty-five miles per hour.
HuffPost may recommend veganism and skinny jeans to those who allow themselves to be educated by liberal media, but Swiss steak and onions with sides of asparagus and mashed potatoes still carries the Midwestern farmers that keep this country alive. It may be dumb to cheer when the Hoosiers score a basket, but it still is not as embarrassing as yelling at a computer monitor. Before it is possible to change the national dialogue on economic policies, we have to analyze the social patterns occurring in American society. Do we need more men making $25 an hour to blog about fast fashion at Starbucks or more skilled laborers that live to uphold the virtues of our land?
Disclaimer: This is my own philosophy that comes from the comfort of my La-Z-Boy with the little free time I have outside of work. Crack open an Ultra, watch some football, and enjoy the facade.
(El Rebelde de Tejas) 2021. “Save Me, Western Man” Hard Hat Philosophy. 3/29/2021 HARD HAT PHILOSOPHY - Home